Too many sad sappy songs...

I've been inclined in listening to some sad and sappy songs. Love songs you might say. Songs that more of like for broken hearted people. I kinda feel like listening to it. I feel like, in my case, I could really relate to it. Especially to the songs: If I fall by Aqualung and Colors by Amos Lee. Sad but really hits me hard. The more days that pass I feel like the more pain I'm gaining here in my heart. I've been meaning to tell the guy I've fallen in love with that I love him but it seems that no matter how brave I am in other things I'm such a coward when it comes to love. How can you tell someone you like/love them without losing them? Funny question right? There's always two answers right? Well, How will you tell that person?? What are your consequences?? Of course the two answers are him/her also in love with you or NOT. Having the idea of it makes me really sick. Having thoughts of losing that one person whom you learn to laugh with, goof around and love. Reality bites. You win some you lose some. If you try to analyze it, you would conclude two things: he/she will start to ignore you and take you for granted or will reciprocate the same thing. It should be a two way street but that's not what the world (most of the time) shows. Most of the time its only one way. You love the person and that person love another and the other loves another one and the list goes on and on. But really you don't have to analyze things coz I think you just have to do what you think is right. Tell that person you love them and just be ready for the answer! Whether its a good or bad news.. doesn't matter! Keep on loving them even if they don't reciprocate. I may sound a bit out of this world right now and I know I don't really make any sense.. Well it is because of my irritating headache and a tiring day from work.. Oh wait! I'm just making excuses.. The truth is I'm confused and scared coz... I'm in love.. with him.. =)

confusion

Confusion is starting to kill me
Slowly its breaking me
Feeling unhappy or just complaining

I'm broken
crushed into pieces
NO one could save me
I can only redeem myself

Misery or Happiness
Am I really happy?
Or just pretending?

Chances makes you decide
Fate makes you think
Hope makes you wait
Love makes you trust

Until the time I can really say I'm happy..
I just need to have a little faith and wait..
Patience is a virtue..

Dreams, reachable or not?

When you were a kid, you dream of things that you would want to have in your life in the future. You dream of being someone. You dream of being successful. You dream of having a family, etc. etc. So what was my dream when I was a kid? I dream of becoming someone who would cure and help people, a doctor. I dream of having a family and having kids. So why did I wrote this blog?? Hmmm, one reason is that I'm thinking if dreams can be reach or they are just left to be just a dream. I am already finished with my school and would want to be a medical technologist or a clinical laboratory scientist. How am I able to achieve it? Do I have to give my dreams for something that is visible, tangible and something that I have now?? A job that somehow keeps me going. A job that I have now because it would help me achieve my other goals or dreams. DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY DREAMS FOR THIS?? For some people, they had given up for they think they can't achieve their dreams. I always believe that somehow you should not give up but rather find ways to achieve your dreams. My dad keeps on telling me (when he was still alive) that I should be determine in achieving what I want in life. You can never say that "I can't achieve it" and that "its not for me" but rather try to figure out ways in achieving it. You can at least say that you tried achieving it and pursuing it than doing nothing at all. Sometimes there are dreams that we have to set aside first to be able to achieve it for we have to do something before pursuing it. Maybe I'm just mumbling about my dreams but I kept thinking about it because of the things happening in my life right now. Am I going to achieve or pursue my dreams? How am I going to do that? Who would help me it pursuing it? Now, are you thinking the same thing? What do you think? Go figure!

A CHAT WITH GOD (LESSONS IN LIFE)

God: Hello. Did you call Me?



ME: Called you? No... Who is this?



God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought, I will chat.



ME: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.



God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy, too.



ME: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.



God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.



ME: I understand. But I still can't figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting You to buzz me on instant messaging chat.



God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this Net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.



ME: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?



God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.



ME: Why are we then constantly unhappy?



God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.



ME: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?



God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.



ME: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty...



God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.



ME: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?



God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.



ME: YOu mean to say such experience is useful?



God: Yes. In every term, experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.



ME: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?



God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner Strength comes from the struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.



ME: Frankly, in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.



God: If you look outside, you will know where you ar heading. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.



ME: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?



God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.



ME: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?



God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.



ME: What surprises you about people?



God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?" When they prosper, they never ask, "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.



ME: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here? I can't get the answer.



God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.



ME: How can I get the best of life?



God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.



ME: One last questions. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.



God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.





ME: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.



God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."

Numb or Playing Dumb?

We are buddies

We are friends

We do silly things

We laugh at things



We constantly talk

We go around to have a walk

We make funny noise

We make silly voices



Then something changed

I started to tremble

Thoughts of you came rushing in

My mind was rattled by the truth



I like you

I cared a lot

I want to be near you

Just want to have a glimpse of you



It started to bother me more

I started to feel it

It was you, you and you

each and everyday



Then I smiled

I am starting to fall

Slowly and deeply..

I am falling...


Then like a gun that shot me thorough

Like the thunder when it rains

I have fallen..

Fallen in love with you


Now Im thinking are you feeling it too?

Are you in love with me too?

Are you numb?

Or are you just playing dumb?

The words I love you

Together alone we walk

At the side of this endless road

I look at you and you look back

We walked all alone hand in hand



I looked at you with questions in my eye

You looked at me with no lie

you held my hand so tight

Making sure everythings alright



You suddenly touched my face

To let you be my gaze

You looked at me deeply

And slowly we were face to face



Your lips touched mine

It felt like fireworks at New year's time

My eyes wide open

Suddenly my body weaken



Slowly you moved away

I gasped and you whispered

"I love you my baby

My one and only baby"



To my blissful

I smiled and replied

"I love you too
my dear baby"

Silly silly me

I thought I was over this
This feeling that I thought never exist
Tried so hard to leave it behind
Tried so hard to keep you off my mind

Thoughts of you came rushing in
Like the furious winds of storm
It strike me once, strike me twice
It was like when you hit me with your lies

Trusting was not as easy as loving you
What is it that I've done wrong with you?
Why did you kill the laughter and joy?
Why do you have to leave me boy?

Silly silly me, I laughed
You were just playing around
Like a little kid who would tease you
Makes you sad and makes you cry

Silly silly me
Why am I making a fool out of myself?
I can see your happy with her
Giggling, Cuddling and smiles all around
How I wish I was her you would cuddle around
But its not me you wish to be with
So I laughed and said silly silly me

Take me out to the Ball game! Go SF Giants!!

Yesterday I was off from work. Yes! Time for shopping, hanging out just chillin' and relaxing. I planned to hang out with my friend but before we meet up my uncle called me and said that we are going to a ball game. Damn! Ball game? What ball game? Hmm.. Now, how am i suppose to tell my friend that I have to cancel our plans? Arrgghh! I was excited about hanging out with my friend and go shopping... anyway, I have to cancel it and I have to call him before the scheduled time of meeting. When I got home everyone was prepared. My cousin told us that his boss wants to drive us all the way to AT&T Ball Prk so we went to my cousin's company building. Rigel (My cousin's company) was about 5-10 minutes away from our house. We met Mr. George Clemens and greeted him. When we got to the ball park, the place was jam packed. Wow! So this is the Baseball game huh I said to myself. Its my first time at AT&T Ball Park. The place was huge. The game started and we sat at out seats. I felt a bit bored and started walking around. I saw food stands like everywhere and like $4 for just one hotdog? Oh come on! Anyway, I bought some for my family. We watched the game and ate hotdogs just like in the movies heheh.. Kinda feel the spirit of the people in the Ball park. They are really into this kind of sports. My cousin told me that according to some, Baseball is the longest past time of the Americans. Imagine you will sit under then sun almost all the day. What you think about that? I kinda know the game but not the rules and other stuffs about it. Mr. Clemens told me few things about it and said that he played the game when he was young. He was a pitcher and umpire. He really likes the game, no, he LOVES the game. Back to my story. After 4 innings (Read about baseball and you'll know what I mean) the giants scored 2 to 0. At the last innings, the giants scored 4 to 1. The Chicago Cubs lost and San Francisco Giants won! YEY! It was a great experience going there and watching baseball. Hope i'll be able to go and watched it again FOR FREE!! hahahah... Thanks Kuya Allan and Mr. Clemens. Yey!! GO GIANTS!! ROAD TO HISTORY!!

LORD PLAN FOR YOUR MATE

Everyone longs to give himself to someone to have a deep relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to a christian says, "NO! Not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and contented with loving, being loved by ME alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to ME, to have an intensely personal and unique relation with ME alone.

I LOVE YOU , MY CHILD ! Until you discover that only in ME is your satisfaction to be found, you won't be capable of the perfect human love relation that I've planned for you. You will never be with one another until you are united in ME, exclusively of anyone of anything , of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning , stop wishing and just allow ME to give you the most thrilling plan existing. ONe that you can't imagine, I want you to have the BEST. Please allow ME to bring it to you. Just keep watching ME, expecting the greatest thing, experiencing the satisfaction of which from knowing ME who I AM. Keep learning , believing nd listening to the things I tell you.

YOU MUST WAIT!!! do not be anxious! Do not worry! Do not look around the things others have gotten or what I have given them. Just keep on looking off and away up to ME, or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then when you are ready, I will surprise you , my child with a LOVE for more wonderful than you would ever dream.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready ( .. I'm working this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time.. ) and until you are both satisfied exclusively with ME and the life I have prepared for you, you would be able to experience the LOVE that exemplifies the relationship with ME and this is Perfect LOVE.

My PRECIOUS CHILD ! I want you to have the most wonderful LOVE , I want to see in flesh the picture of your relationship with ME. To enjoy concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you wiht myself. Know that I LOVE YOU utterly, much more than you love yourself!

I AM ALMIGHTY GOD !!

Sino ba ko?? Kilalanin mo muna ako..

Ako ay isang simpleng tao lamang na gustong mabuhay ng simpleng buhay. Ako ay yung tipo ng tao na minsan komplikado at mahirap unawain at intindihin pero kahit ganun kapag nakasama mo na ko, masasabi ko na madali akong pakisamahan at masaya kasama. Ang unang impression sa akin ng mga tao ay masungit pero sa totoo lang hindi talaga ako masungit. Hindi lang ako nagsasalita kaagad kung kakakilala ko pa lang sa tao. Nakikiramdam ako at nagmamasid kung pano ko pakikitunguhan ang isang tao. Masayahin akong nilalang kaya nga ba gusto ko rin na ang mga tao sa paligid ko ay napapasaya ko rin, ngunit sa tamis ng aking mga ngiti at masasayang halakhak nagtatago ang kalungkutan at ang mga luha na minsan nagpabagsak sa akin. Marami nagsasabi na malakas daw ako at matapang, pero di lang nila alam na kaya lang ako ganito ay dahil sa pamilya ko at kay Papa God. Marami na ring nagbago sa akin pero ako pa rin ang taong kilala ng pamilya ko at mga kaibigan ko. Nagbago man ako iyon ay para sa ikakabuti ko at ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Ngayon.. nasabi ko na ang mga bagay na gusto mong malaman tungkol sa akin. Nasa sa iyo na kung gusto mo ko kilalanin at ikaw na rin ang humatol kung tama ba ang mga sinabi ko. Kilalanin mo pa ako, malay mo, magkasundo pala tayo at pwede maging magkaibigan.